You know how people say, “You want to have your cake and eat it”? Like there’s something wrong with wanting both to have cake and eat it?
Did you ever stop to think how deeply weird that is? Of course you both want to possess your cake and eat it.
What’s the point of cake you can’t eat? And obviously you need to own the damn cake to eat it. Otherwise you’re just a thief.
(And yes, of course I understand what the term means, i.e. that you’d like both to possess a perfect, uneaten cake, and to eat it, simultaneously. The solution, therefore, is clear: BUY TWO CAKES.)