A Mini Performance Review

Dear spiders living outside the house, I want a word with you. I thought we had an agreement: I don’t allow the cat to squash you and I don’t brush away your webs; you eat up all the mosquitoes, flies, and other assorted flying I-don’t-know-whats with wings.

How do you account for this then?


It itches like the dickens, I tell you. And there’s more than one of these bites! Look, you’ll just have to take my word for it. No, I’m pretty sure you don’t “feel” me. You don’t have soft skin that welts up when bitten and itches like this!

Very uncool, guys. There are currently a couple that have even invaded the house!

Please step up and do your job. Eat the (blood)suckers! The mosquitoes are top priority. If you get those we can maybe, maybe let the other flying things slide.

Right? Right. Glad we had this talk.